SUBARASHI KYUUTACHI!
by TEKNAM
Summary: Another quick one-shot from dreamland...  When Kakuzu discovers the Jinchuriki are gifted with song like no other, he hatches a plot to give them lives and a future... and himself loads of cash! He doesn't count on them growing on him...


Got a one-shot and it's a stand alone, nothing else coming after. It's not a trial for review. As for the crappy-sounding description, you'll understand when you read this. Let's just stay with what's here: Being who and how he is, when Kakuzu sees a sure thing, he'll do whatever he has to in order to milk it for all its worth. I hope you enjoy this!

(P.S.: In case anyone else did this before me… I apologize. I didn't have internet for a few days, so I couldn't go back to look. And if no one has thought of this first… all I have to say is JUST WOW. Also, for the sake of the story, this is AU, so all the Jinchuriki are not only the same age, but all alive, and in Shippuden universe. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

P.P.S.: When a song is listed later on, give it a listen. You should get a proper vibe afterward. ^_^)

_**NARUTO: SUBARASHI KYUUTACHI!**_

Kakuzu sat back in a cave outside of Konohagakure no Sato. His nigh-immortal partner Hidan, a worshipper of an EXTREMELY obscure god he called "Jashin-sama", was sitting across from him, polishing his trusty scythe, whispering silent prayers to his "GOD" that today would bring a good hunt and a lot of sacrifices. Kakuzu quietly shook his head, returning to counting the thinning stack of bills in his hands. He knew he'd have to find a bounty soon to restock his coffers back at the hide-out, but he was happy that this next target, the so-called Uzumaki Naruto, Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, and an apparent Toad Sage, who'd been sent back to the village after a three-year training stint with the famed Jiraiya of the Sannin, was all he'd been reported to be… AND MORE.

Ever since the organization known as Akatsuki had been formed, their main priorities had been raising and maintaining funds, both personally and corporately, and hunting for the nine Bijuu. As none of the other members had much of a head for battle and were only good at collecting money, it had fallen to Kakuzu and Hidan to hunt the Bijuu and their Jinchuriki. However, after hunting the first, being bold enough to stalk the Ichibi no Shukaku's Jinchuriki, Sabaku no Gaara, around his village for a few weeks, Kakuzu had noted that the boy may not have been loved for what he was, but instead for having an incredible singing voice that drew people to love him and forget his tenant. Kakuzu had seen something there, and had been all TOO eager to cash in on it… the problem with his idea was that he'd still had to hand over the boy to his superiors.

That was when he's hatched a plot. It was the plot of his life, with his and the lives of the nine Jinchuriki on the line.

For the past three years, Kakuzu had gone about the task ahead of him by, telling Hidan to go run interference while he captured the targets alone to test himself. In truth, He'd found a way to get into the target's domicile while no one was looking, and offer them a future they wouldn't have in their village. He would take care of the rest.

From the boy Gaara onward, he'd hit upon success after success; Yugito Nii, a girl who apparently only sang in the shower (he'd had to blend in with the shadows while she washed in the waterfall outside of town); Yagura, a boy with a voice so perfect it made women faint when he spoke to them normally; Roshi, a youth with a gruff personality and a voice in the deep baritones; Han, a teen seldom seen outside of steam-powered armor who tended to sick children at night by sitting in their rooms and crooning lullabies in a deep bass; Utataka, a skinny boy with a bubble pipe who had a voice that drew even MEN to want to be his willing servant; Fuu, a young girl known for flying over her village, day and night, singing to everyone and anyone who'd listen in a sugary voice that made grown men weak at the knees; Killer B, a tan-skinned HULK of a man from the same area as the girl Yugito, whose lack of talent in the world of rapping was only made up for by an almost sultry voice that had all the women lusting after him.

It had only been a few days, but this boy Naruto seemed more blasé about strolling down the streets and singing randomly than any of the others. He had a decent voice, for sure, but from what he could hear, the boy was suited more for deeper-voiced songs, not the high-pitched, almost feminine-sounding songs he belted out on a regular basis. Kakuzu was pleased… in fact, he was BEYOND PLEASED. This was what he'd been hoping for. Finally he could spend his life in the green stuff, never having to worry about bounty hunting ever again.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said, before his psychotic partner cut him off with, "Let me guess: "Run around the village, kill a few people, and just cause a distraction. I want to see if I can take this kid alone," right?" Kakuzu smirked a bit. Hidan had been around him long enough to be able to impersonate him, and rather well. His plan would come along quite nicely.

"You know me so well. Just make sure you don't kill anyone we've seen actually CONNECTING with the kid. We don't want him going completely nuts here," Kakuzu said sarcastically. With a nod, the two set off on their tasks. Kakuzu was secretly thinking, _'If only you knew me just a bit better and weren't such a murderous fool… you just might get to live through this."_

Kakuzu arrived at the tiny apartment and knocked on the door, not even bothering to disguise himself with a henge. Moments later, the blonde, whickered boy answered the door.

"Hel… lo… What the heck is up with the robe?" The boy asked bluntly. Kakuzu nodded with a chuckle.

"So you're not a big fan of "red clouds on black", huh?" Kakuzu said, "I'm sorry, but I have to keep this on for a while; you wouldn't get a kick out of what's underneath either." The boy nodded.

"I take it you've got something important to talk about, so come in. Can't have you standing there forever, right?" the boy said, swinging the door open and motioning for his guest to come in. Kakuzu nodded and stepped through, instantly stunned by the size of the place; it was a living room, kitchen, and bedroom all squished into one room, with a small bathroom off the side.

"Quite the small place you have here," the older man said, finishing with, "Isn't that right… UZUMAKI NARUTO." He turned to see a smile on the boy's face.

"Yep, that's me and this is my place… small though it may be… So, who are you? What did you want to talk about?" Naruto asked.

"My name is Kakuzu. To be more precise, I'm known around the Elemental Nations as "Kakuzu of the Black Thread", mostly because of what I did to my body to make myself almost immortal. I have ties to an organization named "Akatsuki", which has been hunting people like you for the past three years. However, as my partner and I have been the ones doing the hunting, I've noticed every one like you has been given the gift of song in SPADES. I'm telling you all this because I'm perfectly willing, should you accept my offer, to sever all ties to that organization and take you away from here. I can give you a future in the music industry, alongside the other eight of your kind. What do you say?" Kakuzu said, taking a deep breath at the end of his pitch. Naruto stared at him.

"What were Akatsuki hunting people like me for? And what does that mean, "people like me"?" Naruto asked. Kakuzu nodded; apparently the boy didn't know about his tenant yet…

"Plainly speaking," Kakuzu said, "I'm speaking about the Jinchuriki, the containers for the Bijuu. I've already taken the other eight into protective custody. I don't know if you know or not… but you are the Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the beast that attacked the village the day you were born. If our Intel was not incorrect, your father, the Yondaime Hokage, sealed half of the monster's chakra inside your body to stop it from rampaging. The only reason I know this is because I've been watching you for the past few weeks. Your stamina is incredible, to say the least… and those whisker marks on your cheeks are MOST telling," Kakuzu watched as the boy's smile grew.

"I knew about the fox. I just didn't know there were more like me!" Naruto replied. Kakuzu nodded.

"So, what do you say, kid? Want to come with me and make singing your life?" he asked.

"I don't know… I've always wanted to be Hokage so people will acknowledge me…" Naruto said,

"I understand. But you know, there are other ways and be acknowledged, and a multitude of reasons for BEING acknowledged. You don't really need to lead this place… you could lead the group I've put together and be acknowledged as one of the greatest singers to grace the Elemental Nations in decades!" Kakuzu said. Naruto's eyes seemed to brighten at this.

"It's THAT easy? Why didn't I think about that before?" he asked. Kakuzu chuckled a bit.

"The only things I'm going to need from you are a list of people to send the records to… and a clone," Kakuzu said.

"Oh… I'm not even a genin… I failed the exam five times and they told me to stop trying. So I just went about my life singing for fun…" Naruto said. Kakuzu face-palmed.

"No problem then. I have a back-up plan," the older man said, holding his hands together. Almost instantly black threads sprang from his fingertips, wrapped around the boy, then settled into a pool on the floor from which rose an exact duplicate of the boy.

"Do you know how to channel the fox's youki?" Kakuzu asked. Naruto nodded.

"Thank Kami for at LEAST that much," the older man said, "What I need you to do is channel about half a tail of youki into this clone. We're going to pass this off as you and destroy the hide-out so they don't come after us."

Naruto did as requested and filled the clone with the required youki, then compiled the list. Kakuzu whistled.

"Impressive list… and quite impressive that you've listed the Hokage on here… The old man still?" Kakuzu asked, smiling to himself when Naruto nodded.

"He managed to bypass the Shiki Fujin Seal and kill Orochimaru," Naruto said. Kakuzu stared at the boy.

"He bypassed the Shiki Fujin? That explains why we haven't heard from either him or his spy Kabuto in a long time… In any case, are you in, kid?" Kakuzu asked, and at the blonde's nod, nodded back.

Kakuzu pulled out a summoning scroll and nodded again, saying. "Alright. In that case, give me two seconds." After taking a bite of his finger and wiping the blood on the scroll's seal, Kakuzu slammed his hand into the floor.

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!" the man shouted, a large cloud of smoke masking the arrival of a large worm.

"Take this boy to the other eight," Kakuzu said, pointing to the original Naruto, "And make sure you explain that he's the ninth one we need. He can introduce himself. Report back IMMEDIATELY if there's any trouble." The worm nodded and, without warning, opened it maw and swallowed Naruto whole. It dug into the ground and vanished.

"PERFECT…" Kakuzu said to himself, leaving the apartment the way he'd come in. he switched on his radio and called Hidan.

"'Bzzt' Yeah? What's up? I'm in the middle of my rampage!" Hidan said.

"'Bzzt' Mission accomplished; we're heading back to the hideout," Kakuzu replied.

"'Bzzt' Really? How was he? Any challenge?"

"'Bzzt' Unfortunately… NO. Wasn't even allowed to be a ninja due to failing the academy entrance exams five times in a row. I'm just surprised they didn't try to seal his chakra…"

"'Bzzt' Well that sucks… Alright, I'll finish this one off and come over to join you. BYE, OLD LADY!" Hidan shouted out loud as his connection fizzled out. Kakuzu ran to the gates of the village and hid in a tree, masking his chakra as best as he could. Minutes later, Hidan appeared, being chased by a crowd of people…including "Kakashi of the Sharingan", the Hokage, and what appeared to be everyone from the boy's list. He nodded and dropped to the ground, signaling his partner to go on without him. Hidan nodded and took off.

"WHO ARE YOU, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH UZUMAKI NARUTO?" The Hokage asked. Everyone else in the group shouted the same response. Kakuzu nodded.

"He is in the care of the Akatsuki now. You will NEVER see him again. Good day to you all!" he said, vanishing in a blast of threads that left no trace of his chakra behind. The entire mob stared at the spot where the strange man had stood moments before their shoulders slumped and they walked away.

"I'm sorry… Minato, I couldn't keep him safe like I promised…" The Hokage said sorrowfully.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

Kakuzu arrived at his cave to find Naruto strung up by his ankles with sand, his head wrapped in a bubble.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he asked, and the two responsible let the boy down.

"So it's true then," said a boy with short red hair and the kanji for "love" on the left side of his head.

"Hmm… not at all what I expected after B-san…" the other, a skinny boy in a blue yukata, said as he popped the bubble and went back to blowing bubbles from his pipe. Naruto stood and walked over to Kakuzu.

"What was that?" he asked.

"My best guess would be that it was a hazing ritual to welcome you," Kakuzu said, "Now everyone, line up. We've got introductions to make." He watched as the other eight in the room nodded and walked over, lining up from the red-head onward.

"Naruto," Kakuzu said, "This is Gaara," he pointed to the red-head, who nodded, "Yugito," a tall, blonde girl waved to him, "Yagura," a small, grey-haired boy with pink eyes nodded with a smirk, "Roshi," another teen with red hair and an odd-looking piece of head gear waved, "Han," a really tall boy in full-body armor winked, "Utataka," the boy in blue from earlier nodded, "Fuu," a shorter girl with light, mint green hair and orange eyes waved, "and Killer B," a tall, tan-skinned man with black shades nodded to Naruto.

"Everyone, this is Naruto Uzumaki… the Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi. I hope you'll make him feel welcome in our little group," Kakuzu said. Naruto smiled.

"Now then, before we get into any specifics, we need to talk business. If everyone would please wait for me in the Round Room, and Yuu-chan," Kakuzu said, addressing the blonde girl, "Show our newest member to his seat, if you'd please. I'll be back shortly; I have to "rendezvous" with my soon to be deceased partner and sever ties to the organization." In a burst of black thread, Kakuzu vanished, leaving the boy in the care of his new friends.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

Kakuzu arrived back at the cave where Hidan stood outside. A second look told Kakuzu his partner had fallen asleep against the rock face waiting for him.

'_Perfect,'_ Kakuzu thought, as he crept up to his partner with a small knife in hand.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

Hidan was in the middle of his favorite dream: slaying a multitude of "sacrifices" while six beautiful women hung from his body, a ring of white light shining down on him from on high. However, for as great as his dream was, he was shocked when something sharp punctured his head. As he hit his knees, he reached up and pulled the object out, noticing it was connected to a rope. He felt the tool fly out of his skull and, turning as he fell to the ground, saw the light turn black as one of the girls, a tall blonde, smiled wickedly as she lobbed the knife into the air and caught it repeatedly.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

Kakuzu laughed as Hidan's eyes went wide and the supposedly immortal man collapsed, gasping the name of some woman he must have been dreaming about… until the man's god's name came up.

"Wait a minute… He thinks this "Jashin-sama" is a woman? HOLY SHIT… I think I just did the WHOLE world a favor…" Kakuzu said. He waited about thirty minutes for Hidan to stop twitching, and then set about his task. Fifteen minutes later, Kakuzu had worked his threads into Hidan's body, and then transformed it into a clone of himself.

"Heh… So long, Akatsuki…" he said under his breath. Seconds later, the clone of Naruto appeared next to him, flopped on the ground like it was unconscious. Kakuzu smirked behind his mask. He knew that this time, the entire group would be together in the hideout to do the sealing of the final Jinchuriki. He'd be able to take out every threat in one go… unless two specific targets wanted out. He decided to ask ahead. Sending ahead his astral projection, he found ONLY Itachi and Kisame present.

"_Are you two alone?"_ Kakuzu asked. Itachi made a grand motion of looking around the room, only to find Kisame next to him.

"It would appear so, why?" he asked, sounding quite bored. Kakuzu nodded.

"_Good. I have some… sensitive information to discuss that is ONLY for your ears, as well as an offer,"_ Kakuzu said. Kisame, having been lounging on his finger of the Gedo Mazo statue, sat up straight, his interest piqued.

"And what, exactly, is this information?" The fish-like man asked. Kakuzu smirked.

"_To be honest….The Jinchuriki we've been sealing have been clones infused with the youki of their respective beast,"_ the masked man said. Itachi's eyes widened, while Kisame simply laughed like a fool.

"HA HA, TO THINK YOU'VE BEEN PULLING A FAST ONE ON THE LEADER FOR YEARS!" Kisame shouted, laughing madly. He was cut short when Itachi jumped over and punched him in the stomach. Itachi retreated while Kisame tried to catch his breath.

"Huh… so that's why they've all been so easy to extract, and that explains why you were always so secretive about where the bodies were going… But why tell us this? It's not as if we'd actually TELL the leader… I still remember the last time Pein had his summoning Path send the giant panda after Deidara… While it WAS extremely funny, it took money from the coffers to PERSUADE a doctor to heal him…" Itachi said.

"_That's where my offer comes in,"_ Kakuzu replied,_ "You see, over the past years I noticed a pattern; all the Jinchuriki were hated for what they were, and yet dearly loved. Why, you ask? Simple: They had UNREAL talent as singers. Each and EVERY SINGLE ONE had a voice that would make people weak and faint. I've decided to defect and DESTROY the Akatsuki right here, as soon as everyone's out. I'd like to extend an offer of protection and escape from impending doom. I should probably find Konan as well… she never seemed to have a real bone to pick with these poor kids…"_ At that moment, a tall, woman with a paper flower in her ice-blue hair appeared. No one spoke for a moment.

"_Well, thank you Konan-dono… you saved me the trouble of having to search for you,"_ Kakuzu said. Konan vanished in a swirl of paper, reappearing moments later in front of Kakuzu. Itachi and Kisame did the same.

"An explanation, Kakuzu… What are you talking about now that would have you coming for me?" the woman asked, her voice cold and carrying faint traces of outrage. Kakuzu took a breath.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

_**~A FEW MINUTES LATER~**_

"Ah… So that's what's been happening," Konan said, her voice warmer now. Her face, having been no more than a cold scowl earlier, now regarded Kakuzu's astral form with a bit of interest, "But shouldn't we inform-"

"_NO!"_ Kakuzu shouted, _"For this plan to work, Pein MUST NOTKNOW ANYTHING! Do I have your word?"_ Kakuzu watched as Konan's expression darkened, her mouth curving into a wicked smile while her eyes almost turned red.

"You don't have to ask," Konan said, her voice filled with venom, "With how Pein… You know what, forget it. I don't need to be formal when I'm not with him. The way Nagato's been since the Incident, and what he did to obtain his Tendo body… I owe him nothing. I won't say a word. Just get me out of here and I'll shred this ridiculous robe WITH CONVICTION." Kakuzu nodded.

"Don't have to ask me," Kisame said, popping back into place on his perch, "Just make sure I don't have to do this anymore. I'd like to enjoy a nice, quiet life."Itachi laughed. Kakuzu didn't know whether to find it amusing, or to run and hide; ITACHI NEVER LAUGHED - EVER.

"As if I'm one to talk, but YOU, living a quiet life, Kisame? Even IF Kakuzu can arrange it, I just can't see it. Even while we were off duty, you were out looking for a "WORTHY" opponent. In any case," Itachi said, turning to face Kakuzu's astral form while Kisame fell off his finger laughing, "As long as I can go back to Konohagakure and explain myself in full so I can watch over Sasuke again… I have no complaints." Kakuzu nodded.

"_In terms of Kisame, Konan and myself, I suppose we could always forge our own village… make it somewhere where no one will find us, and change our names and appearances. My case will be … difficult. I don't think even an Advanced Henge can hide my threads…"_ Kakuzu mused to himself. Konan nodded.

"I suggest we avoid anything tying us to this organization when naming it, but we can address that problem when we get to it. As well, I move that we make the nine as comfortable as possible, and bring in people who know as LITTLE as possible about them," Konan said. Kakuzu nodded in confirmation just as her head snapped up.

"Nagato's coming, along with the Six Paths. I can feel the others not too far behind. Assume your positions, and ONLY ACT ON THIS WHEN WE NEED TO," she said, hopping up to her spot, "Am I safe in assuming that Hidan's dead?"

"_Very astute, aren't you?_" Kakuzu said, _"Indeed, he is; nailed him in the back of the head with a dagger while he was sleeping standing up. Mentioned something about "Jashin-sama" and cupping his hands together before he died… I think he thought his precious "GOD" was a woman, so I think I did us all a favor."_ Itachi paled, Kisame laughed, and Konan smiled. Kakuzu now knew he should hunt for shelter... KONAN SMILING MEANT BAD NEWS.

"I'll reward you somehow, Kakuzu," was all she said before his astral form vanished.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

Back in his cave, Kakuzu manipulated the "clone" and gave it simple orders: Impersonate him as best as possible until the cat came out of the bag, and draw an explosive sealing circle around the cave to take the entire thing straight to hell in a hand basket once it was dispelled and Hidan's corpse was revealed. The "clone" nodded and picked up the Naruto Clone. Seconds later, Kakuzu stood outside of the cave, a sly smirk plastered on the face he hid beneath his mask. Things were going to go his way… whether this Nagato person liked it or else. He quickly created another clone of thread, used a Henge to turn it into a swarm of roaches, and sent it to follow the other and extract Itachi, Kisame and Konan while completing the sealing circle inside the cave. The clone twitched its collective feelers and went off like a shot. Kakuzu smiled.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

It took both the "clone" and the clone-swarm two days to reach the cave. The "clone" took an extra couple minutes to do the initial circle, following which it headed inside, the roach swarm on his legs. As soon as they were a fair distance in, the roaches set off to do their jobs, several splitting off to head for their targets while the rest poured chakra into the ground in miniscule amounts and started their business.

"Kakuzu," a skinny man confined to a large tank-like wheelchair said, "So good of you to come. I trust you had no trouble capturing the Jinchuriki?"

"Actually, I have a bit of bad news…" the fake Kakuzu said, hopping up to his place after setting the Naruto clone in place, "The kid was tougher than I thought he would be. I was forced to use my full power, and that wasn't even enough, so I called in Hidan for back-up. He took a powerful attack to the head and died from an exploded head. As we all know, not even a true zombie can live long without a head." Most of the remaining laughed at their comrade's demise; taken down by one of his MANY weaknesses. During the revelry, Itachi was the first to be spirited out; he left a clone of himself behind as a cockroach silently exploded into thread, enveloping him and becoming a cockroach once more and scurrying out.

As the laughter died down, the fake Kakuzu continued, "In the end, the kid was very tired from his tangle with Hidan, so all I had to do was pick him up with my threads and toss him into my Wind Heart's Atsugai attack a couple times. He woke up once and tried to run; a simple smack to the back of the neck dropped him like a bag of hammers. That's why it took so long to get here." Kisame was next to go, dropping a clone of himself in place as the cockroach that had crawled onto his shoulder expanded, consumed him, then shrank back to an unnoticeable size and vanished into the darkness. Nagato nodded, and then looked over at Hidan's empty spot.

"Am I correct in assuming you brought his ring with you?" Nagato asked. The fake Kakuzu nodded, holding up the ring.

"Good. Now, take your position. The faster we can get this done, the better," Nagato said. The fake Kakuzu nodded and popped up to his place.

"Oh…" Nagato said, "And by the way… how long did you intend to keep up the farce?"

"I'm sorry… may I beg money's pardon?" the fake Kakuzu said.

As the room exploded into a din of noise, Nagato took the moment to say, "It was obvious from the start, Kakuzu. Anyone could tell what's going on by looking at the Jinchuriki. The boy hasn't even got his full power; I can only sense about a tail-and-a-half from him. Where are you hiding the Jinchuriki? And, for that matter, where have you BEEN hiding the other eight? Our plans cannot go forward without them." At this point the fake burst into hysterical laughter.

"Just what is so funny, Kakuzu?" Nagato asked.

Leveling a demented glare at the gaunt man, Kakuzu said, "Well, for one thing… YOU ARE AN IDIOT. If you seal the Bijuu and use them as a weapon, you could wipe out the world, us included. Where's the sense in that? Doesn't it sound a little… wasteful to you?" As the voices in the room tuned down to a whisper, the fake continued.

"Secondly, I must thoroughly congratulate you on figuring me out. I have in fact been duping the majority of you. For the past couple years I've been spiriting the Jinchuriki away for my own purposes, which I am under NO obligation to expunge to ANY of you. And as it stands, your plans have drawn defectors. There are four of them, including myself, to be exact. Two are already gone… and one is still in this cave." At that point, Kakuzu's astral form appeared in the cave, drawing gasps from everyone.

At that moment, a loud scream of pain erupted from Nagato's direction, ensuring the remaining would look up and see their leader, impaled through the back on a large, seven-point spear made of pieces of paper.

"K-Konan… WHY?" the pale man asked as his ex-second in command stepped in front of him. A sharp slap to the face and a repeat stabbing were immediately followed by Konan spitting on Nagato's face.

"For what you were planning to do to those innocent kids, and for what you did to Yahiko's body… I owe you my allegiance no longer. Consider this my official resignation as a member of this … EXTREMELY BORING organization… and as your friend," Konan said, allowing the cockroach on her back to explode into black threads. Moments later, she was gone, only her final words ringing in the cavernous room along with Kakuzu's maniacal laughter:

"GOOD BYE. NOT THAT ANY OF YOU DESERVE IT. ENJOY BURNING IN HELL!"

With that, the threads comprising the body of the "clone" unraveled and fled back to their master, revealing Hidan's' corpse and sending the signal for the roaches to activate the seal. When Deidara attempted to blow the large, stone doors off the walls, he found himself on the receiving end of a fateful of exploding clay.

_**~N: SK! ~**_

Back at his cave with Itachi, Kisame and Konan at his sides, Kakuzu smirked and howled in laughter as the despairing screams of Nagato and the rest of what had once been the Akatsuki rang out loud enough to be heard around the world, followed by an explosion that could have torn the planet in half, contained within a barrier his cockroach clones had erected upon their escape.

"And so ends those LOSERS who called themselves shinobi," Kakuzu said, "Although… perhaps I should have invited Sasori to join us. He'd have made an excellent teacher… Ah well. What's done is done… and what's left to be done shall be done. Let's get to work; there's a lot of it to do." The three with him nodded as black threads tore up from the ground, enveloped them all and whisked them away.

_**~N: SK! ~  
>~SEVERAL YEARS LATER! ~<strong>_

A black-haired boy sat in the stands of a large auditorium, smirking like a prince next to a taller man on his right. The man smiled.

"Now now, Sasuke, we talked about this. Just because you're an Uchiha does NOT mean you get to act like you're better than everyone else," the man said, ruffling his younger companion's hair.

"I know, Itachi-niisan… I just can't wait for them to end the light show and let the band out! Kaze-chan is so CUTE!" Sasuke said, almost melting in his seat. Itachi, now looking much healthier, smiled. His little brother Sasuke had gone through a vast change of attitude after his return to Konohagakure, despite the fact that Itachi had had to stay awake twenty-four/seven for almost three months to fend off Sasuke's countless attempts to kill him before the truth about their clan's murder came to light. He was grateful that the now retired Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage, had allowed Itachi the right to kill the two advisors and Danzo, thus helping him move past his horrible misdeeds. Sasuke had also gotten far in the direction of romance, despite having to fend off his girlfriend, one Haruno Sakura, from the entire Sasuke Fan Club.

"I know, eh Sasuke-kun? This is going to be fun, heheh…." Said the tall man sitting on Itachi's right. The man, pale in skin with brown eyes and blue hair, chuckled under his breath, showing off his fang-like front teeth. Sasuke leaned over his brother.

"You like Kaze-chan too, Kisame-niisan?" Sasuke said, pointing at the man with the pointy hair. Kisame chuckled again.

"I guess you could say that… after all… I did, in a way, help scout her!" Kisame lied. Sasuke shook his head.

"Yeah yeah, hold that one over me again," the duck-butt-headed boy said, sinking into his chair to sulk. Itachi patted his brother on the head.

"You know what, Sasuke? I'm in good with Kuroito-san; would you like me to arrange a back-stage meeting with Kaze-chan?"Itachi said, smiling when Sasuke snapped up.

"YOU CAN DO THAT? WOULD YOU?" Sasuke asked, giving Itachi his best puppy-dog eyes. Itachi laughed.

"Yes, yes, of course. Just stop giving me those eyes… after what you did for three months, seeing you act like THIS is still kind of scary…" Itachi said, his smile turning into a frightened grin. Sasuke rolled in his seat with glee while Kisame laughed heartily.

"You think this is funny, KISAME?" Itachi asked, slowly rotating his head do a crazy smile leveled itself with Kisame's eventual gaze. When Kisame caught Itachi's glance, he stopped laughing and shrank in his seat.

"Man… what a buzz kill…" was all the man said as he sank lower.

_**~ELSEWHERE~**_

Three women sat in the higher balcony seats, accompanied by three men, but by no means were there any dates going on.

The first of the women, tall and curvaceous, with ankle-length auburn hair in a strange style and top-knot, dressed in her best (and only) blue dress, gave a beaming smile to the woman on her right, who equaled her in looks, if only in comparison of breast size. The second woman, about as tall as the first, with brown eyes and waist-length blonde hair tied in twin ponytails, chuckled lightly, smiling as she nudged the third. The third woman was as well endowed as her friends, face curved upward in a nigh-skull-splitting smile while a single origami flower dangled loosely from her pale, ice-blue hair. All three women had deep red blushes on their face and bottles in their hands.

Behind them, a burly, dark-skinned man sat beside a middle-aged man with unruly black hair, both using their shoulders as a seat for their diminutive and older friend. All three were blushing heavily, verging on full-face flushes, at the three drunken women in front of them.

"A-kun," the smaller man said, "would I be in the wrong if I said that it's much better being back here than out there, in front of them?" The tall, muscular man thought about it for a second.

"You know, Oonoki-san," A said, stroking his beard a bit, "I think you'd be right on the money on that one. Much better view from back here, if you know what I mean." The old man laughed at the comment.

"You're both too perverted for your own wellbeing," the other man said, his head hanging as he waited for the lights to dim, "You two have NEVER been on the receiving end of their anti-pervert wrath, have you?" The other two shook their heads.

"Exactly," the man said, "Tsunade-san can knock a man flat with ONLY a flick of her pinky finger AND send you soaring across the stadium. Konan-san could literally castrate you at will … and you NEVER want Mei-san to attack you. Ever have a lava plume fly at you faster than a Senbon from skilled hands, and you DON'T want to know what it feels like to feel like your meat's LITERALLY going to melt off in your pants." He watched as his companions considered what he'd told them.

Both men gained lecherous grins and said, "SO WORTH IT…" in unison. The third man simple sagged in place.

_**~ELSEWHERE~**_

"You kids ready to go on stage yet? The electrical techies are getting tired of swinging those blasted lights around!" A man said, walking into a dressing room where several teens were putting on their headsets.

"Hai hai, Kaku-san," a male with spiky, blonde hair said, striding up with a sheet of paper, "We're all set. I just want to make a last-minute change of plans. Think you can manage?"

Kakuzu looked at the page, read it over, and nodded, saying, "Yeah, I think we've got those on file. It still surprises me how big of a softy you are, kid. Alright, I'll go make sure the on-deck DJ knows what you're up to so there aren't any last minute screw-ups. Five minutes, everyone!"

Kakuzu had changed a bit over the past few years, but so had the members of the musical group that had become known across the Elemental countries as "_Subarashi Kyuutachi!_"; to all of the kids in the group, he'd become almost a father figure, and had come to care for them as if they were really his children.

Now standing just over six-and-a-half feet tall, he'd managed to keep his lean figure and developed a new version of the advanced Henge that allowed him to appear human again. He sported the same unruly black hair as before, only now cut shorter and spiked at the sides, starting short at the bottom and getting longer toward the top of his head where he left it flat. His eyes, no longer the sinister green-on-red he'd had before, were now pure emerald green with a tinge of red toward the pupils, and his lips, now free of his threads, was curled up in an almost eternal smile.

The one everyone still called Naru-kun (save for the girls, who called him Naru-chan), was the most respected of the group and, often times, acted as a big brother despite being the same age as all the others. A couple months prior he'd found Yugito, or "Neko", her stage name, crying in her room. He'd stayed with her all night long to help her bounce back from a bad break-up… and had PERSONALLY seen to it that the guy who'd dumped her NEVER saw the light of day again. They'd been closer than actual siblings since, and it had been Yugito, not even a few hours prior who'd found him crying at his desk, hunched over a single fan letter wrapped in a soft violet envelope. When she'd asked what was wrong, he'd simply raised the letter to her eye level and let her read:

"_Dear Yoko_

_I am not going to say I'm your biggest fan. I will, however, start by saying that I remember you for who you were before you became famous._

_You may not remember me that well, but hopefully you haven't forgotten the beating you took protecting me when we were children. Those boys were really mean and never got caught. Recently they tried again, and almost succeeded if Yuuhi-sensei hadn't been around the corner to apprehend them. They've since been imprisoned for life._

_In lighter news, Neji-san's been getting better, as have my sister Hanabi and I. Neji's let go of his obsession with fate, and the three of us are a power-house team with Yuuhi-sensei. Sakura-san was removed from the Shinobi Program, and had her chakra sealed after her lack of skills got one of the genin of our generation gravely injured Lee-san hasn't been the same around her and hasn't forgiven her since._

_I just wanted to let you know what's been on my mind of late. I know you always cared for me when no one else would. That's why I decided to do the same for you. The day I was told you'd been taken to your death, and for almost a year afterward, I cried myself to sleep, hoping against all else that you would shunshin through my window and hold me until I fell asleep… or anything to tell me you were still alive somewhere._

_That day Ino-san showed my "__**Subarashi Kyuutachi's**_"_ first CD was like having a weight lifted from my heart. I always felt you'd left for a reason, and just hearing you sing was enough to keep my spirits from breaking down. You have been a source of strength for me since then, and I've made it my life's purpose to attend every concert, just to see you again._

_I haven't got much time left before the mail-nin gets here with the tickets, so I'll stop here. I can't wait to see you perform again; your voice is my strength._

_I have always loved you, Naruto-kun. And no matter how far apart we are or where our lives take us, I always will. NOTHING will change that._

_With all my love,_

_-PALE PRINCESS- 3"_

Yugito had stood behind Naruto, sobbing gently with a hand over her mouth while her fellow blonde had wept his eyes out onto the desk. That night, she returned his kindness from months before and stayed with him the whole night through, talking him through what he'd have to do. They decided on changing the line-up of the songs and making an announcement after the opening piece.

Back in the dressing room, Naruto walked over to his "Big Sister" Yugito and smiled.

"Hey Yuu-nee, I want to thank you for the other day. You really helped me, and …" Naruto started, only to be stopped cold as his surrogate big sister pulled him in for a tight hug.

"Did you forget about my break-up, Naruto? You did the exact same thing for me; how could I let you call me "nee-chan" if I don't do the same for you in your hour of need?" Yugito asked, hugging Naruto closer. Naruto let a single tear fall from his eye and hugged his "sister" back.

"Thanks Yuu-nee. Brother and Sister forever, right?" he asked, not noticing a tearstain on his face. Yugito wiped it away and smiled.

"Yep, Brother and Sister forever, and you can't take it back!" she said. They smiled and headed for the stage.

_**~N: SK! ~ **_

The DJ took the paper Kakuzu gave him and nodded, changing the order of his records for the night.

"Alright everyone!" he said, drawing the attention of the entire stadium.

"We've had a slight change of plans for the evening; as such, you can keep your programs if you wish, but they're pointless now. Instead of their normal fare, Yoko himself has requested a change of songs: tonight, Yoko is going to perform the opening song alone after an announcement to the fans. OH!" The DJ jumped I his booth as blood-red fog began pouring out onto the stage, "HE'S HERE! YOKO IS HERE!"

A silhouette appeared in the fog, illuminated by three spotlights. As he stepped forward, fox tail swishing the air behind him while his fox ears twitched at the sudden influx of clapping, Naruto took the mike.

"OHAYO MINNA!" he shouted, wincing behind a smile as the audience let loose a deafening roar and a din of applause, "It has been a fun couple years, hasn't it? I should say it's been especially so for a few of us. As you know, a few months back, Neko-chan and I became headlines in a bit of a scandal involving her … unnecessary public break-up. I helped her recover and even beat the guy who did it until they had to wheel him to the hospital on a stretcher. Well, Neko-chan got the chance to help me back a couple days ago.

"You see, a few hours ago I was reading some of the fan mail and found one addressed to me… but it was addressed to my "other self", namely my street persona. However, it turned out to be more than just a letter of praise from an over-zealous fan; it was a personal letter from someone I knew a long time ago… from a time before I became famous. I'd almost forgotten about her until that letter. YES," Naruto said, stopping as roars of outrage spilled from the throats of most of the kunoichi in the stadium. Once it quieted down, he continued.

"Yes, as I said, it was a girl who wrote me. A girl who was very important to me when I was a kid… I actually took a rather heavy beating for her when we were young, just to protect her from bullies. Well, tonight I'm going to not only honor this special person… but I'd also like to invite them up to the stage after the opening song to sing with me. This is going to be the first time I do this… and probably the ONLY time I'll ever do it. So, with that said, would Pale Princess please raise her hand?"

Naruto watched as hundreds of hands flew into the air and a cat-fight of near epic proportions erupted in the arena.

"STOP IT NOW!" he shouted, instantly stopping the fight.

"I can see that was a bad idea. Alright then, in that case… I'd like to dedicate this song to my childhood friend… HYUUGA HINATA." Naruto's voice carried into the ears of everyone in the arena, causing everyone who knew the girl in question to simultaneously shout "WHA~~~~~~T?" Even the three drunken women in the balcony seats seemed to sober up, the blushes rushing from their faces as they simultaneously grabbed the handrails and started screaming at the boy on stage.

The fans in the front row moved aside as a single woman, pale lavender eyes and dark blue hair in a purple sweater and blue jeans strode up to the stage, her hand raised. Naruto smiled.

"Nice to see you again, Hinata-chan. This one's for you," he said, as a slow song played over the speakers. Hinata immediately recognized it: it was the single song Naruto had sung whenever he saw her, the one she heard him singing most often.

"Hinata-chan, you know this one well, don't you? Ladies and gentlemen, I dedicate this, my rendition of "Yellow Moon", to my dear friend, Hinata-chan."

For the next few minutes, Naruto serenaded Hinata and the crowd. The audience forgot about Hinata being singled out, and happily swayed along with the music. Hinata, on the other hand, silently cried. It had been years since she'd heard her childhood love sing her favorite song. To have him not only sing it after all this time, but even dedicate the song to her was more than she could handle.

When he finished the song, he motioned for her to come up on stage, and offered his hand to help her ascend. As she did, the DJ began playing the next song, running through the opening guitar piece twice.

"This next bit is a song Hinata-chan and I sang a duet to once when we were kids. You remember the words, Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked, and smiled when she nodded.

"Alright, then, please enjoy our rendition of "Hikari no Rokku!" MC KUROITO, HIT THE MAIN!" Naruto shouted, nodded as Kakuzu took over for the DJ and started into the main music.

As Naruto and Hinata began to sing, their voices mingled together, becoming nothing anyone in the audience had ever heard. Hinata was overjoyed that everyone listening enjoyed her singing. Naruto found himself wondering who wouldn't like her voice; in his opinion, even as kids, she'd had the voice of an angel.

In between the second and final choruses, Naruto and Hinata turned to face each other, belting out the lines with conviction.

Hinata looked Naruto in the eyes and sang, "BOYS AND GIRLS!"

Naruto looked her in the eyes, smiled, and sang, "YOUTH RAMPAGES!"

Both got in close, almost to the point of their lips meeting, and screamed, "MAKE ME ONLY THINK ABOUT YOU!" Naruto stepped back after that and let Hinata sing the first half of the last chorus herself.

And sing she did, with all her heart:

"Tell me that you have cried until now with embarrassed words  
>dyeing the darkness of my pitch-black heart white."<p>

Naruto jumped in:

"Even if it's decided that I'll die someday, I can't forget about you  
>my desire crumbles this silence."<p>

Hinata sang, "BABY I LOVE YOU!"

Naruto followed, "BABY I LOVE YOU!"

Hinata and Naruto tag-teamed the last bit:

"Crumbling, I shed tears; I dance until morning, falling in love!"

As the final guitar piece played, Naruto took Hinata's hand and pulled her into a close, tight hug. In the last few seconds, he spun her around twice, then held her close again and kissed her just as the final drums sounded.

For Hinata, the world seemed to stop dead. She hadn't expected the hug or the spinning, but as soon as his lips met hers, she stopped thinking. Reacting on instinct instead of thought, she reached her hands up to hold the sides of his face, a feeling of safety and comfort washing over her as she stood, pressed tight against Naruto's chest with one arm while his free hand held the back f her head gently.

With the last strum of the guitar and the final cymbal clash, Naruto let go, staring deep into Hinata's pale, glazed eyes. She stared back, half upset that he'd stopped so suddenly, and half happy that she'd gotten her childhood wish. Naruto felt complete at last. For years, he'd felt something was missing in life… that letter had confirmed what he'd suspected since Yugito's break-up. Naruto smiled at Hinata and led her backstage.

"We'll be right back, folks! Just hold tight for a moment!" Naruto called out. The DJ got back into place and put on a hip-hop record to keep the crowd placated.

_**~N: SK! ~ **_

Backstage, Naruto sat Hinata down and called Kakuzu over, as well as the rest of the group.

"What is it, kid?" Kakuzu asked.

Naruto worked up his courage and said… "I'm quitting the group." He waited for the loud shouting and slaps he was sure would come…

But they never came. He felt a hand on his shoulder and braced for impact, but instead opened his eyes wide as Kakuzu and the entire group squeezed him into a massive ten-person group hug.

"Naruto…" Kakuzu said, "The past few years have been an amazing ride. But I noticed you seemed out of it a lot during the whole thing. If this is what you want, I'm not going to stop you. I've got my dream; with the royalties from CD and record sales, I'll be living the high-life and sending you checks long into our old age. Hell, you nine have made me enough of a killing in the green-backs to make my life easy even after I've died and gone to wherever you go when you die… But you also taught me something important.

"I always used to believe the world revolved around money. So I did a lot of bounty hunting to make more money. When I found Gaara-kun, though, I felt something shift inside me. I didn't care so much about the money anymore. I cared more for him, and later for all of you, than I'd ever cared about cash. You're all like the children I never had, and would never give up for anything in the world. In fact, if Hyuuga-san is all for it, she could come back to Utagakure with us all and become a permanent resident. Just promise you'll let me come and visit once in a while?" he asked. Naruto nodded.

"You know what, Kaku-san… I can do you one better. If Hinata-chan's fine with it… if and when we're married and have kids, I'd like to name my first son and first daughter after you, Kaku and Kuzu. In the past few years, you gave me something I missed out on for most of my life: a father; siblings… a family. Albeit, we were and still are a very dysfunctional family, but everyone has quirks that make us unique, and that's what makes a great family," Naruto said, biting back his own tears.

Yugito waited a few minutes before chiming in, "So you intend to marry her, eh? Nice choice, Naru-kun. Yuu-neechan approves!" She reached over and ruffled the blonde's hair, making him smile uncomfortably.

Gaara nodded in agreement before saying, "We should probably finish the concert before announcing the group's disbanding."

Everyone looked at Gaara in surprise as he said, "What? Naru-kun can find love and I can't? That doesn't sound too fair to me! That should be an automatic thing for all of us, anyway, especially after what happened to Yuu-chan. She, above the rest of us and Naru-kun now that he's found love, deserves true love, don't you think?" All of the others nodded. As they all let go of Naruto, Yugito walked over and gave both him and Gaara a kiss on the forehead.

"Don't forget: Big Sister will always love you both. I hope we all find someone. Now, let's get back out there and wow them!" She said, putting on her best game face.

At the end of the concert some two hours later, Naruto announced the band's closure. The fans took it sadly, but cheered for an encore performance in the end, which the band was only too happy to provide.

_**~N: SK! ~  
>~TEN YEARS LATER~<strong>_

Naruto and Hinata sat on their front porch in a swinging chair watching their four children playing in the yard. Their eldest, Kaku, had become the fourth Jinchuriki for the Fox, who was all too happy to change hosts. Naruto sighed a bit as he watched the older of his two daughters, Kuzu, chase after her younger sister Kushina, whose name had been Hinata's choice. On the other hand, Kaku was being chased around by his brother, Minato. The boys had been a set of twin, as was the case with the girls. As such, both boys sported a dark-blue hue in their spiky hair, while only Minato died his with yellow highlights. Meanwhile, both girls had waist-length blonde hair, but only Kushina had chosen to die hers, choosing a bright shade of red, and only doing the tips.

"What's wrong, Naru-kun?" Hinata asked. Naruto smiled and kissed his wife of eight years on the cheek.

"Nothing's wrong, my dear Hina-chan… nothing at all."

_**~THE END! ~**_

And so ends "SUBARASHI KYUUTACHI"! ^_^ Hope you enjoyed. R&R, CONSTRUCTIVE FLAMES ONLY.

I should also place a list of the stage names used by the Jinchuriki, just so we don't meet with confusion. ^_^

Gaara: Tanuki  
>Yugito: Neko<br>Yagura: Kame  
>Roshi: Saru<br>Han: Yuge  
>Yutataka: Awa<br>Fuu: Kaze  
>Killer B: Rai<br>Naruto: Yoko 


End file.
